FOOD PORN STRIKES AGAIN!

If I told you there was a TV show that answered the eternal question, will our hero finish his meal, or will he throw up, what would you say? Because that is exactly what is at stake in this program, show after show after show. The name of the program, offered on the Travel Channel, is Man v. Food, and simply put, it is disgusting. The host, Adam Richman, travels from city to city, visiting the most popular restaurants and wolfing down massive amounts of food from each stop along he way.

The show I saw originated from Chicago, where Richman traveled to Al's Beef, Gino’s Pizza and Lucky’s, a sandwich shop that makes huge sandwiches out of bread, meat, french fries and cole slaw. The least objectionable stop was the beef place where Richman treated himself to a sandwich. That was a milder moment. But at Gino’’s (actually, Gino’’s East), we watch the pizza artist create a meat-laden masterpiece weighing four pounds, Richman interviews a couple of people and has a slice of pizza. Again, mild. Almost charming. So far, so good. But it all goes down the drain when Richman gets Lucky’’s, where he tries to eat three of these five pound sandwiches in one setting. We watch him gobble down the grinders while other patrons watch fascinated, kind of like accident oglers on the Dan Ryan Freeway, each stopping to take a gander. "Is there any blood? Is there any blood?" And, as I said earlier, the major point of suspense at this moment is whether he can finish the fare without upchucking. Lots of close-ups of Richman masticating this fat-rich goo, intercut with close-ups of fellow customers, eyes wide in amazement, looking on with admiration. Of course, he manages to triumph in this setting, and for his efforts, his Polaroid is added to the restaurant’s Wall of Fame. Welcome to the Wide Wonderful World of Food Porn!

I’m told it is the same plot every episode. Richman goes somewhere, stuffs his face unmercifully with the four basic food groups (lard, salt, sugar and alcohol), almost barfs, but in the end, he reigns victorious. Oh boy! I’m getting a Food Boner!

And now that I have your attention, don't forget to tune in next time for the next exciting episode of...

THE JUICED AVENGER!